


I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted

by planswehad



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bi-Curiosity, F/F, F/M, Growing Up, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Unrequited Love, feelings are hard, sorta - Freeform, sorta?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 17:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12892944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planswehad/pseuds/planswehad
Summary: Eva and Chris feel scared of getting old and deal with the emotional separation from their best friends.Later that night when he kissed her hips she asked him if he missed William. Did he miss him as much as she missed Noora? It was all she could think about.He grinned up at her, devilishly handsome. "I have you now, right?" He asked while he grabbed her ass."Yes," he whispered against her neck when he thought she was sleeping.





	I'm a mess but I'm the mess that you wanted

**Author's Note:**

> So this is something completely different from what I usually write.  
> I still have so many feelings about Chris/Eva that go in all sort of directions - this is might the most personal one.  
> It can be seen more of a character exploration than an actual One Shot.  
> I don't think this is for everybody and this is totally fine. I still wanted to share it.

You're the only friend I need  
Sharing beds like little kids  
Laughing 'til our ribs get tough  
But that will never be enough  
Ribs - Lorde

Ever since William, Eva felt isolated. It was quite ironic that someone she didn't even know well brought so much change into her world. William was just a pretty face, scandalous rumours, and a red-tinted version of Noora's words to her. Other than that she did not know anything about him and she didn't want to.  
She knew what mattered - he had Noora. Unconditionally. He was the only one who could turn her cool and collected friend into a completely different version of herself.  
Eva never knew if it was for the better or worse. Not that it mattered, William became a fixture in Noora's life.  
That feeling of being isolated was always present, sometimes quiet in the back of her head, and sometimes gnawing right at her heart when Noora cancelled their Friday-night Bad 90's movie marathon. And most often she felt shameful for even having those kinds of feelings, no matter how often she told herself that they were valid. She simply couldn't explain where they came from, everything could be good.  
Noora still addressed her as her best friend, and that she cancelled a meeting was not a regular thing. She was still right beside her, next to her in Spanish, making silly jokes about their teacher. She was still right there, but felt miles away.  
First Noora kept William a secret and then he kept her secrets with him. Eva knew that Noora talked to him about all the things Eva was always too respectful to ask about. She always had been sure that she would find out when the time was right, but now that William stepped in, it seemed like he won the race.  
She was happy for Noora - she really was - it just cut deep that it wasn't her. Whenever Eva didn't chastise herself for feeling like that, most often it was 5 am, right after a party, in bed, and she asked herself what it meant. Some would call it jealousy, but it was different than when she found Ingrid's texts on Jonas phone; or when she heard her voice in the background when she called him. This burning feeling that kept her crying at night came from a different place. Maybe the closest thing to this feeling she experienced was losing Ingrid. Only that it was worse because she wasn't losing Noora. She just lost what she represented to her.  
Eva kept busy with getting bad grades and going out. And she kept busy with Chris. Sana sometimes joked around about Eva being a masochist, that of all people she choose him. But Chris was easy to keep around and even easier on the eyes.  
He was surprisingly funny, and he had this thing whenever he was completely concentrated on her, that made her feel special. Most often than not it was to take her home that night but Eva didn't mind, it was what she wanted anyway.  
For the longest time, she was sure that nothing could affect nonchalant, unconcerned Chris.  
Sure the thing with Iben didn't go the way he wanted, but in the end, she was the one crying in the toilet, and not him. And whenever Eva got a little too drunk and called him a fuckboy he smiled at her, and teased her about being into it.  
It was until this day - Eva couldn't even recall what day it was - when she realized that it wasn't the case. That maybe Chris could understand her better than anyone else. It was just the usual weekend party thrown by someone that who just graduated from Nissen, and everyone was there.  
Sometime in the middle of the night William, Noora, Chris and her ended up in a corner. William had his arm wrapped around Noora and whispered into her ear - neither of them seemed to care about the ongoing conversation between the four of them.  
And Eva was too drunk to care about anything.  
With a proud smile, Chris presented the joint he managed to steal from another party guest. Noora and Eva declined since both of them never smoked, even though it wasn't that much of a big deal to Eva anymore.  
"What about us?" Chris asked William and looked at him while he waited for an answer. William was so wrapped up in his private conversation with Noora that he hasn't even realized that Chris had said something. "What about us?" Chris repeated when William finally looked up, holding the joint like a lifeline.  
William's eyes switched from Chris back to Noora, and Eva felt like something was happening at this moment, but she didn't understand what.  
"I think I'll pass tonight. More of it for you," William said dismissively and patted Chris' shoulder in a friendly manner before his face got buried in Noora's hair again.  
Eva seemed to be the only one who caught the moment - less than a second - when Chris' face fell before it was replaced with his famous smirk. "Tosser," he said under his breath, with a grin on his face, and placing the joint behind his ear before he made his way outside.  
Being alone with the couple now, Eva was painfully aware of her status of the third wheel, and when she couldn't spot any of her other friends she made her way outside, following Chris. When she spotted him she could just stand still and stare.  
His pretty face was warped in a painful expression, and he was kicking his feet repeatedly against the trash bin while angrily smoking the joint. Right then, Eva understood, but she couldn't do anything to comfort him - she felt the exact same way.  
Almost like he heard her thoughts Chris looked up, eyes all wide and looking so much like a young boy.  
Later that night when he kissed her hips she asked him if he missed William. Did he miss him as much as she missed Noora? It was all she could think about.  
He grinned up at her, devilishly handsome. "I have you now, right?" He asked while he grabbed her ass.  
"Yes," he whispered against her neck later when he thought she was sleeping.


End file.
